dracoharry100 | The Nutcracker

Title: The Nutcracker
Author:

alafaye
Word count:
Characters/pairings: Harry/Draco, a nutcracker
Challenge: Christmas challenge 2017; nutcracker
Authors Notes: Also for the same prompt (nutcracker) at

slythindor100

"It's going to come alive and eat my nuts."

"Draco, that's -- it's just a wooden tool."

"No, it's not! Look at it -- it's got this evil look in its eye!"

"It's. Just. A. Toy."

"I felt it's teeth and they're sharp enough to cut skin! Look. I cut my finger on it."

"I thought that was the paper cut from earlier?"

"...my point still stands, Harry. It's going to chop off our nuts."

"It's something fun that someone designed for Christmas and roasted chestnuts."

"Wait. Explain this to me."

"I dunno! It was designed to crack open chestnuts."

"Aha! I knew it."

"Come on. It isn't in our bedroom. We can shag in there."

"It'll follow us."

"I'll close the door."

"Harry!"

"No. It's just a wooden toy. Come on... I got that flavored lube you like."

Later

"I know you. You're just biding your time until Harry's gone and then I'll suddenly be nutless! Well, too bad for you. You're going inside this box and I'm shipping you to Siberia. As ash."

"Draco!"